Wednesday 24 August 2011

Senses Poetry

In class this term, Room 39 have been learning how to describe senses using the rule, 'show not tell'.
Below I have described being in a restaurant with the sense of sound.
Can you visualize the sounds and action of the restaurant from what I have written?


Sounds of a Restaurant
The soft clinking of cutlery hitting plates,
The quiet chatter of people around the room.
The occasional cackle of laughter arising from table 12.
The screeching of chairs sliding across the linoleum floor,
As someone gets up for seconds.
The slurping of straws as children reach the bottom of their drinks.
The near silent chewing of food.
Then, finally, the low rumble of my stomach,
Telling me to eat no more.
Stevie-Lee

6 comments:

  1. A great description, Stevie-Lee. I can tell you have worked hard to create an image in the reader's mind and you have certainly used the sense of smell to help you! Well done!

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  2. I could see actually see everything happening inmy mind. Nice work!

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  3. I liked your writing i could see it in my mind

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  4. I could see you writing in my mind awsome descriptive writing Stevie

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  5. KWL! piece of writing Stevie.

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  6. awesome writing i wish i could write that well

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